Partner betrayal – one of the most challenging experiences in a relationship
Being cheated on is probably one of the most challenging experiences that we may encounter in a love relationship or any other relationship. It is the most challenging as it questions the very basic values on which we build our close relationships: trusting other person, safety and loyalty. Such situation makes us ask ourselves what our relationship is like: what feelings we have for each other, what we think about each other, what is that really keeps us together except from our assets and duty.
Betrayal often mercilessly verifies the actual status of our relationship. It undermines the confidence and stability of one of the most important relationships in our life. It destroys plans for the future and our ideas regarding further happiness. It causes huge pain, anger and rage as well as feeling helpless, sad, anxious and threatened. It brings a lot of confusion into our heads, hearts and souls. It affects not only us directly, but also our children, other family members and our friends.
It may seem unbelievable, but also the partner that has betrayed often suffers serious consequences. What initially seemed a way to get some entertainment in a monotonous and boring routine, a getaway from pressure and expectations of the partner or spouse, or an opportunity to receive what we lack in our relationship today (e.g. appreciation, admiration, feeling attractive, or receiving care and attention) becomes a problem, a crisis or a drama. The spouse that has been cheated on demands that we move out from our flat or house and threatens to separate us from the children. Our relationship with our friends is also put to test. The pressure of criticism becomes unbearable.
Betrayal, regardless of the decisions we finally make, has a great impact on us, often destructive. It reveals all deficiencies in our relationship, our deeply hidden fears, undermines our self esteem and self confidence. It may affect not only our personal but also professional and social life, our health as well as other relationships.
Betrayal – when to look for psychological support?
When a partner betrayal and the manner we manage it are clearly destructive to us, we may want to consider use of psychological assistance – consultation with a psychologist or a psychotherapist, especially a therapist that works with couples, so he or she understands the dynamics of such relationship. This especially applies to situations when:
- a depressed mood lasts for a long period of time and we are tired with our own emotions, thoughts and reactions
- our functioning is deteriorated in various fields (private, professional, social) and we are not able to “pull ourselves together” after a partner betrayal
- we feel worse over time, we are not able to cope with stress
- we are not able to manage the situation ourselves and we do not receive enough support from our friends and relatives
My psychologist counselling office offers a broad range of psychological support to people who have been cheated on. I am ready to offer an individual therapy as well as a couple therapy.
Psychological assistance after partner betrayal, dealing with intense, unmanageable jealousy or inability to trust the partner again may take the form of an individual consultation as well as couple counselling. The method or work and the scheme of psychological support used by the clients depends on the needs of both partners and their motivation to work with a psychotherapist or a psychologist.
There are situations, in which both partners feel that their relationship needs support, strengthening or rebuilding and both are ready to work towards change, calming down the emotions and taking rational decisions beneficial to both partners. There are also situations, in which only one partner experiences difficulties after partner betrayal or only one partner is ready to discuss with a psychologist his or her problems in the relationship and issues with his or her feelings, behaviours and self esteem. Each of those options, an individual or a couple psychotherapy, offers an opportunity to introduce positive change in the clients participating in psychological consultations and their relationship.
The process in every situation begins with a psychological consultation, which is simply discussion with a psychologist. During the discussion, the clients present their problem and together with the mental health specialist decide what will be the best method of further proceeding in their specific situation: several meetings and use of psychological assistance, a longer individual psychotherapy or enter together with their partner into couple/marital therapy.
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If you need psychological help, contact me.